From time to time, I will be writing a “Random Shit” list. It’ll be about anything I can think of to write a short paragraph or two about. Once I have five items, I’ll publish the memo. So, without further bullshit, here we go.
Apple MacBook Air
Ooooh, now you’ve done it, Steve. I still don’t get why morons by shit that don’t have replaceable batteries. First iPods, then iPhones and now this shit. I saw his keynote and it seriously sounded like he was selling a 12″ pink dildo to his fan boys. It’s great from a company’s perspective that you’ve created this Mac-fan-boy cult, but in reality your products are shitty, and only morons by them. Your new product, MacBook Air? What the fuck is that? I can’t remember last time I paid $1,700 to surf the internet. But hey, I am not a moron… maybe that’s why I don’t understand Macs-fagfan-boys.
Hillary
Let’s get the obvious out of the way: HILLARY IS A STUPID BITCH. I always wanted to say it in all caps, but never did. Bill is such a pussy… how can he let a woman use him that way. There’s two reasons why a woman would still stay with her man after he gets a head from another woman: 1. She’s desperate, and he’s fucking rich (Kobe Bryant, remember?) and 2. She’s desperate, because without him, she’s nobody. (Billy Boy.) Sometimes, I can’t figure out which one’s the bitch, Bill or Hillary. Seriously, you morons, don’t vote for her. It’s mostly women that vote for her, now you see why they didn’t allow you to vote in the beginning.
Cloverfield
So, I am in the theater, ready to watch this over hyped fucking movie. There’s this guy in front of me texting somebody, you can imagine the bright light from the cellphone in middle of a dark movie. I swear I could have choked the fucker from behind. But instead I took a popcorn out of a girl next to me, and threw it on his head… one by one. I said, “oh I am sorry, does that bother you? THEN STOP FUCKING WITH YOUR CELLPHONE!!!”
But yea… back to the movie, it fucking blew. The monster was there for 8.3 seconds and rest of the time I was too busy looking at the cleavage of the girl that I went to see the movie with. This movie has the most ridiculously stupid script ever… not a single f word was used. Are you kidding me? A giant fucking monster is 10 feet away from you and you say, “Oh my god?” There was another scene where this bitch asks, “do you know what it [the monster] is?” and the token black guy says, “no”. Brilliant.
Cellphone Bluetooth
All right, I am fucking tired of these assholes with that bluetooth shit in their ears. Are you that fucking busy that you need that shit hanging in your ears every second? Next time I see a guy wearing that shit, I am going to take that bluetooth shit and shove it deep into his throat, motherfucker.
Crosswalk Volunteers at School
You know who I am talking about… those ugly fat old ladies at the crosswalk holding the STOP sign. What the hell is that about? Is that supposed to prevent accidents? If someone is about to run into somebody, do you really think that fat lady is going to prevent the inevitable? I see no point of those people. If you really want to volunteer, help them read after school. We need to raise smarter kids, too many stupid fucking people are procreating… but that’s another topic for some other day.